"O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness!"

I know that I'm a good person.  However, no matter how hard I try to do what is right, I feel that I still fall short all the time!  It's super frustrating!  I've been trying to decide what I want to focus on during conference this weekend, and haven't really come up with any big issues that I'm struggling with.  I decided to just make a list of things I'd like learn how to become better at (i.e. How can I gain the gift of charity?  How can I gain more spiritual gifts?  How can I love more and judge less?).  As I was reading scriptures this morning, I read about someone else who had the same problem!
"16 Behold, my ^asoul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my ^bheart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

 17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great ^agoodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O ^bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart ^csorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

 18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily ^abeset me.

 19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins;"

Nephi felt the same way!!!!  (2 Nephi ch. 4)  And we all know how awesome he was!  He then expounded:

"19 ...nevertheless, I know in whom I have ^atrusted.

 20 My God hath been my ^asupport; he hath led me through mine ^bafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

 21 He hath filled me with his ^alove, even unto the ^bconsuming of my flesh."

And I echo the statements!  If the Lord has blessed me so much, and I have a testimony, why do I still stumble?  Why do I have constant need of the atonement?  (the answer is next)

  "26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath ^avisited men in so much ^bmercy, ^cwhy should my ^dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

 27 And why should I ^ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to ^btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my ^cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I ^dangry because of mine enemy?"

Because I'm human!  I'm not perfect!  But I can keep trying to be better every day!  (like Nephi)

 "28 Awake, my soul! No longer ^adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the ^benemy of my soul.

 29 Do not ^aanger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

 30 Rejoice, O my ^aheart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the ^brock of my salvation.

 31 O Lord, wilt thou ^aredeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of ^bsin?

 32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my ^aheart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may ^bwalk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

 33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy ^arighteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine ^benemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy."

All of us have stumbling blocks... it's part of life.  But the Lord will give me a way to get over them, and it will be easier and easier with time and diligence in keeping the commandments!  All I have to do is ask for help, and trust that He'll give me what I need.

 "34 O Lord, I have ^atrusted in thee, and I will ^btrust in thee forever. I will not put my ^ctrust in the arm of flesh;...

  35 Yea, I know that God will give ^aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ^bask ^cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the ^drock of my ^erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen."

Amen!!!  I'm so grateful for the scriptures!  My testimony has been strengthened again in the affirmation that I can find answers to any of my problems within the scriptures!  I'm not alone in my struggles!  Others have been through the same, and I can learn from their experiences and gain the strength and support I need from my Heavenly Father!

Getting to know God...

When Joseph Smith was searching for truth, he read in the bible James' admonision to ask God. (James 1:5)  Joseph went on to say:  "I had found the testimony of James to be true-that a man who lacked wisdom might ask of God, and obtain, and not be upbraided."  I had to look up the word upbraid, because I didn't understand why he was so caught up on it.  Upbraid means to severely critize or scold.  So, it's finally clicked in my mind!  There are so many people who think of our God as a vengeful God.  One who controls us, but they're not sure what the relationship is.  Then there are others who believe in a Heavenly Father, but not really a personal relationship one.  Joseph may have been nervous to supplicate God, because he didn't know that that was ok for him to do!
I am so very grateful that Joseph Smith had the courage and faith to follow that counsel to ask of God.  As he stated, he found out for himself that not only could he find answers if he asked God, but that this God, his literal Heavenly Father, loved him and wanted a personal relationship with him, and would not scold him for asking questions and wanting to know more! 

"It is the first principle of the Gospel to know for a certainty the Character of God." 
I read this statement in "Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice" by Lloyd Newell.  He cites these words by Joseph Smith from "Teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith."   Newell states that:  "We cannot understand our destiny if we don't understand our origin."  We are God's children, and He loves us, and wants us to come to Him and have a relationship with Him!  But we have to make the effort before the relationship can become strong!  Joseph went on to explain this concept:  "When we understand the character of God, and know how to come to him, he begins to unfold the heavens to us, and to tell us all about it.  When we are ready to come to him, he is ready to come to us." 
I know I say this a lot, but I LOVE IT!!  Thanks to Joseph Smith for being the example of faith that so many needed!  Thanks to him for helping us understand our relationship with our Heavenly Father a little better, so we feel comfortable "coming unto him!"  I am so grateful for the understanding I have of my Heavenly Father, and I testify that we can have a very personal and loving relationship with our Father!  He wants us to seek Him, so that we may know Him and feel of His love and guiding support!

An "ah-hah" moment...

Nephi described the children of Israel thus:  "...the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness...or the easiness of (the way), there were many who perished."   1 Ne 17:41

The quote for the day in one of my thought books was from John Taylor:
"Never do an act that you would be ashamed of man knowing, for God sees us always, both day and night, and if we expect to live and reign with him in eternity, we ought to do nothing that will disgrace us in time."
In other words, be COMPLETELY honest and fair at ALL times.

The author then went on to explain:
"Developing integrity of heart is not simply a matter of personal determination and willpower.  It is accomlished only through the enabling power of the atonement of Jesus Christ."

And the "ah-hah" comes now:
We are human, with carnal desires!  Selfishness is something that we must constantly fight against.  In order to have a pure and perfect heart, we must get help, because we can't do it on our own; we're all too imperfect!  We (I) must learn to go to my Savior for help, and then let Him do it!  I need to let go of some of my pride that makes me want to say "I can do it by myself!"  The hard part is letting Christ's atonement help me... but it's really a very simple  principle. 
So, is it really hard, or do I just make it that way?  I guess there's a reason that FAITH is the first principle of the gospel:  it's the most foundational one, and sometimes the hardest one!!  It's the one that I need before I can gain any others;  it's one that I constantly need to get better and better at;  it's the one that connects us all to heaven!

Lexi's blog

(I started this post a while ago, and forgot to publish it!)
I found this blog through another friend's blog, and decided that she is my inspiration for the day!
What a faithFUL lady!  She realizes the blessings that she's been given, and that inspires me!
Check out her baby's story: 

http://www.mostlytruestuff.com/2010/07/i-wanted-this-to-be-so-eloquent.html

The Riddle

Here's a riddle for you; find the answer:

There's a reason for the world...

YOU AND I!!

I LOVE it!!!  This song is inspired! 
I read in the scriptures, and found a complementary scripture:
"Behold, the Lord hath created the earth that it should be inhabited; and he hath created his children that they should possess it."                            

1 Nephi 17:36

Lyrics to The Riddle :

There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,
Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see

Then he said,
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,
Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I said,
Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Music is inspirational!!!

Suggestion: play them simultaneously

Being a teacher makes you a better pupil!

So, we moved to Branson on a Monday, went to church for the first time in our new ward the next Sunday, and was asked to substitute for the gospel doctrine class the next week!  WOW!  What a welcome!  I took Angela Ricks' advice and studied hard all week.  So, I knew the material, and had the lesson objective in mind, and thought I was doing great.  And, I probably still over-prepared, like Ryan always tells me not to.  I was terrified to give that lesson, just because I don't like being in front of people.  The lesson ended up going fine.. except that I didn't even get halfway  through it before we ran out of time!  We did have a very good discussion, though, and I think we were taught what was needed, becasue the spirit was there. 
So, now to the title of this post.  Obviously, I had to learn the lesson material well, because I had to teach it.  But, I also had to ponder and pray about it, and that's what makes the difference in learning things!  We talked about the signs Christ prophesied for the Jews to know when the destruction of their beloved city was coming.  They were told what would happen, and that when they saw these things, that they were to leave immediately- not even taking time to go home- and flee to the mountains.  So, why couldn't they go home first?  A cross-referenced scripture stated that a person who is found "looking back" is not fit for the kingdom of God.  At first, I thought that it was a test of faith.  Then, with more pondering and with the help of some of the class members, I realized that it's so much more than that!  (Obviously)  One of the guys in there suggested that once we're converted and committed to the gospel and to Christ, we can't "look back", or we will create more trials for ourselves.  I was thinking on that, and decided that it relates to every decision we make, really!  We can't second-guess ourselves when we've made decisions.  If we've pondered and prayed and made a decision, or a committment, we need to follow through and have faith that our Heavenly Father will bless us for that, and make things work for our good.  Even if we don't know what will happen next, or things don't go the way we've planned, we still need to have that faith, because the Lord will provide!

TESTIFY BOLDLY!!!

So, before I share my aspirations, I wanted to share a "fun" little tidbit I gleaned today.  Just a few years before Christ died, the people in the promised land were getting really wicked...again.  They'd let the robbers reign and were falling to the enticings of Satan.  We read in 3 Nephi 7:8 that "the more part of the people had turned from their righteousness, like the dog to his vomit, or like the sow to her wallowing in the mire."  That sounds kind of wierd, right?  So, I cross-referenced and this is what I found to be more clear:  "the dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire."  (2 Peter 2:22)  So, the pig getting dirty is not so disturbing.  However, the dog eating his vomit again?  That's GROSS!!!  But right there, sinning people are compared to that dog.  When we turn back from what we know to be true, and sin, (like most of us do, because we're human) it's like we are dogs, eating that sinful vomit that we barfed up when we repented the last time.  Isn't that a lovely visual?  Makes me want to never sin again, so I don't have to eat my old vomit!!  But it's true... we will continue to jump right back into the mud after our bath until we've grown enough and learned better enough that Christ remains number 1 priority in our lives!!  So, let's make that priority happen quick, and stick with it!
And now for the good stuff...
Have I mentioned that Nephi is my hero?  He's just so inspiring!  His faith amazes me!  I read that as all of those people were becoming more and more wicked again, Nephi went about ministering "with power and great authority."  (Even though he was in grave danger of being stoned to death like his brother!)  Nephi had such great power given him, because of his faith, that the people were really angry with him.  Why?  Because they couldn't disbelieve his words!  They knew he spoke the truth about Christ because the spirit that was with Nephi bore witness to those people whether they wanted him to or not.  SO COOL!!!  I want to testify like that: live so the spirit can be with me always, and have such faith that when I bear testimony of my Savior, people have no choice but to believe!  Hmmm...that sure is a good way to share my joy!!
DOESN'T THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST JUST MAKE YOU SO EXCITED TO BE ALIVE AND A PART OF IT!?!

prophets continued...

So, I read a conference article this morning about obeying the prophet...
Elder Costa said: "It is a great blessing to receive the word, commandments, and guidance of the Lord in these difficult days of the earth.  The prophet can be inspired to see the future in benefit of mankind...the Lord will reveal to His prophet absolutely anything that He feels is necessary to communicate to us...The Lord promised that if we believe in the holy prophets, we should have eternal life."  Then, he later explains what belief in prophets means:  "to have faith and confidence in them and to follow and do what the prophets ask us to do."  Then he goes on to outline some principles given by President Ezra Taft Benson in a talk in 1980, called "Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet."  Some of the things that stuck out to me are:  The prophet is the only man who speaks for the Lord in everything; the living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works and dead prophets; the prophet will never lead the church astray, because the Lord won't let him; the prophet won't necessarily be popular or learned or have credentrials, and is not limited by men's reasoning; and my favorite, the prophet tells us what we NEED to know, not always what we want to know.  Costa ends with this testimony and counsel:  "Pay attention and follow their (the prophets) instruction and suggestions... and your life will be completely blessed." 
Awesome!  So, if we put in the effort to study and ask and then receive testimony of his divine calling, we can have confidence in the prophet to give us God's word, and we really do need to heed all of his words!  Practice faith; BELIEVE and obey!!!

So, on that topic of obeying prophets, I also read about a Nephite situation and thought I'd share.  Because of the problems going on in many countries right now with governments and uprisings and things, Ryan and I (and my dad who is here this weekend) have been talking about the signs of the times a lot.  We talked lately about Zion being the "center place" where righteous people will have to gather for strength and protection against enemies.  Well, in an account in the Book of Mormon in 3rd Nephi chapter 4, we are told that the Nephites knew the robbers were preparing to come against them, so they gathered all of their provisions and gathered together in one place that had been appointed.  These tens of thousands of people pooled all of their supplies, and had enough to last for 7 years!  So, later, when the robbers decided to lay siege and surround them to "cut them off," it was actually and advantage to the Nephites, because it was "impossible for the robbers to lay siege sufficiently long to have any affect on them, because of their much provision which they had laid up in store."  They were blessed to be able to be preserved, because they followed their leader's command to prepare! 
So, in those very last days as our whole world is at war, and we are counselled to gather and pool our provisions, will we be prepared?  We've been told for many years now to get food storage and prepare our families and homes and supplies for a time that we may have to live on only what we have at home.  We should be listening and obeying NOW so that we will be prepared then!  And maybe we'll end up in a similar situation where the only way we are preserved is because we were more prepared than our enemies!! 

Seek out the prophet!!

So, I was reading at the end of Helaman today, about how the Nephites responded to Samuel's preaching and prophesying.  Some of them tried to shoot him down.  But the others who had softer hearts, and believed his words, "went forth and sought for Nephi."  (Hel. 16:1)
If we believe God's word and have a testimony, shouldn't we be doing the same?  We need to seek our prophet!  We need to study and follow his counsels, since, after all, they come straight from God, meaning they are more of His words!  We need to read current counsel, such as the monthly Ensign and other church magazines, the latest conference talks, and make sure we read and are familiar with our scriptures! 
General Conference for the LDS church is coming the first weekend in April.  How can we prepare ourselves to receive God's latest counsel?  Our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, will speak to us that weekend, and tell us what our Heavenly Father wants us to be working on now.  I've realized that I need to prepare my heart to heed the prophet's words, and pray that I can know that they are, indeed, God's word for me today.  And then I need to follow those counsels in my actions, by the way I live!  I know that we all do our best to live our best, and hope we continue to do so!

Nephi is my hero!

Yes, Book Of Mormon Nephi.  No, not Lehi's son.  The other Lehi's brother!  You know, the ones who were imprisoned, and then converted everyone in the jail while conversing with angels. 
Nephi was awesome!  In Helaman chapters 7 & 8, we learn about his prayer to God in his garden about the wickedness of the people, and the people who come to listen.  In chapters 9 & 10, we learn just how firm he is to God's commands!  He preaches to the people with "unwearyingness," even though he is arrested and questioned.  He has no fear of bearing his testimony, or crying repentance as the Lord has asked of him! 
Nephi is so inspiring!  God gives him great power because he LISTENS and OBEYS!!! 
I want power to be mighty in word and deed and faith and works! 
I want to work on having my eye be single to God's glory and will, so I won't ask for anything contrary to His will.
I need to stop being afraid to bear my testimony and preach God's word!  It is my JOY, so why am I so afraid to share it?  Rejection!!  But God gave Nephi power to overcome that, so He can give it to me as well, right!?!