"O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness!"

I know that I'm a good person.  However, no matter how hard I try to do what is right, I feel that I still fall short all the time!  It's super frustrating!  I've been trying to decide what I want to focus on during conference this weekend, and haven't really come up with any big issues that I'm struggling with.  I decided to just make a list of things I'd like learn how to become better at (i.e. How can I gain the gift of charity?  How can I gain more spiritual gifts?  How can I love more and judge less?).  As I was reading scriptures this morning, I read about someone else who had the same problem!
"16 Behold, my ^asoul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my ^bheart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

 17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great ^agoodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O ^bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart ^csorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

 18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily ^abeset me.

 19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins;"

Nephi felt the same way!!!!  (2 Nephi ch. 4)  And we all know how awesome he was!  He then expounded:

"19 ...nevertheless, I know in whom I have ^atrusted.

 20 My God hath been my ^asupport; he hath led me through mine ^bafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

 21 He hath filled me with his ^alove, even unto the ^bconsuming of my flesh."

And I echo the statements!  If the Lord has blessed me so much, and I have a testimony, why do I still stumble?  Why do I have constant need of the atonement?  (the answer is next)

  "26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath ^avisited men in so much ^bmercy, ^cwhy should my ^dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

 27 And why should I ^ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to ^btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my ^cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am I ^dangry because of mine enemy?"

Because I'm human!  I'm not perfect!  But I can keep trying to be better every day!  (like Nephi)

 "28 Awake, my soul! No longer ^adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the ^benemy of my soul.

 29 Do not ^aanger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

 30 Rejoice, O my ^aheart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the ^brock of my salvation.

 31 O Lord, wilt thou ^aredeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of ^bsin?

 32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my ^aheart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may ^bwalk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

 33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy ^arighteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine ^benemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy."

All of us have stumbling blocks... it's part of life.  But the Lord will give me a way to get over them, and it will be easier and easier with time and diligence in keeping the commandments!  All I have to do is ask for help, and trust that He'll give me what I need.

 "34 O Lord, I have ^atrusted in thee, and I will ^btrust in thee forever. I will not put my ^ctrust in the arm of flesh;...

  35 Yea, I know that God will give ^aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ^bask ^cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the ^drock of my ^erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen."

Amen!!!  I'm so grateful for the scriptures!  My testimony has been strengthened again in the affirmation that I can find answers to any of my problems within the scriptures!  I'm not alone in my struggles!  Others have been through the same, and I can learn from their experiences and gain the strength and support I need from my Heavenly Father!

Getting to know God...

When Joseph Smith was searching for truth, he read in the bible James' admonision to ask God. (James 1:5)  Joseph went on to say:  "I had found the testimony of James to be true-that a man who lacked wisdom might ask of God, and obtain, and not be upbraided."  I had to look up the word upbraid, because I didn't understand why he was so caught up on it.  Upbraid means to severely critize or scold.  So, it's finally clicked in my mind!  There are so many people who think of our God as a vengeful God.  One who controls us, but they're not sure what the relationship is.  Then there are others who believe in a Heavenly Father, but not really a personal relationship one.  Joseph may have been nervous to supplicate God, because he didn't know that that was ok for him to do!
I am so very grateful that Joseph Smith had the courage and faith to follow that counsel to ask of God.  As he stated, he found out for himself that not only could he find answers if he asked God, but that this God, his literal Heavenly Father, loved him and wanted a personal relationship with him, and would not scold him for asking questions and wanting to know more! 

"It is the first principle of the Gospel to know for a certainty the Character of God." 
I read this statement in "Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice" by Lloyd Newell.  He cites these words by Joseph Smith from "Teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith."   Newell states that:  "We cannot understand our destiny if we don't understand our origin."  We are God's children, and He loves us, and wants us to come to Him and have a relationship with Him!  But we have to make the effort before the relationship can become strong!  Joseph went on to explain this concept:  "When we understand the character of God, and know how to come to him, he begins to unfold the heavens to us, and to tell us all about it.  When we are ready to come to him, he is ready to come to us." 
I know I say this a lot, but I LOVE IT!!  Thanks to Joseph Smith for being the example of faith that so many needed!  Thanks to him for helping us understand our relationship with our Heavenly Father a little better, so we feel comfortable "coming unto him!"  I am so grateful for the understanding I have of my Heavenly Father, and I testify that we can have a very personal and loving relationship with our Father!  He wants us to seek Him, so that we may know Him and feel of His love and guiding support!